Italian Coffee: Eye-opening Perspective on Fearless Use of Time

Maybe you DO have time for a coffee break. If you want to.

This week I travelled to London for work and arrived back in Como late on Weds night to an empty fridge and empty coffee canister. The next morning, I’d start work-from-home at 9:00. The dog and I woke up to a very efficient combo walk / market shop then stopped for a much-needed double espresso at our neighborhood coffee bar. My favorite Italian breakfast pastry, sfoglia mela, stared up at me from under the glass. A bit overtired and slaphappy, I ordered my caffè and spoke my inner thoughts out loud to the owner and barrista, Eligio, “Do I have time to sit down for a pastry?” Eligio responded without pause, “a voglia” aka “of course” or “obviously”.

But how could Eligio know that I had time? He didn’t know my schedule. Why did he respond that way without hesitation?

A voglia

In Italian, the response “a voglia” is certainly not as common as “certo” (of course) and more literally translated means “if you want to” as it uses the verb volere: to desire or want.

I carried Eligio’s response with my brioche to the table thinking “well, duh, Lolly"!” Of course whether I had time to also sit down and also eat the brioche was up to me - whether I wanted to or not. And of course if I already had five minutes for a caffè at the bar, I also had the few extra minutes it would take to sit down, slow down, and enjoy several satisfying bites of mouth-watering brioche with my cappucino-cup-sized caffè Americano.

Senior Member, Marco.Cur, summarized the meaning on a WordReference thread about the topic:

“A voglia! come risposta significa "si, in abbondanza", senza limiti, oltre il necessario, quanto ne vuoi.”

A voglia! as a response means "yes, in abundance", without limits, beyond what is necessary, as much as you want.”

In other words, if I want to. Of course. So I did.

However, I believe that in the United States this response would have been impossible, and in fact, even after 15 years in Italy, it surprised even me. Almost certainly the reply from an American* barrista who couldn’t know your day’s agenda would have been an uncertain shrug of the shoulders or “I don’t know”.

This micro-interaction highlights a key difference between Italian and United States philosophy around time. Italians believe they have time for a small pleasure. If they want to. Americans seem to believe that they don’t have time and/or deserve small pleasures and will even rush to avoid such possible experiences.

An example from my recent trip to the UK: a American mom friend and I were chatting about her difficulty in making friends after a recent move to London. She has two kids, ages 2 and 5. I suggested what had worked for me here in Italy: grabbing a quick coffee with the other moms at drop off before heading to work. She looked at me with horror saying, “NO. I drop the kid and RUN at drop-off. I don’t want to get trapped in THAT.”

With her alarmed reaction, I realized that “grabbing a coffee” in the US must mean something very different to “prendiamo un caffè” here in Italy. I’m not exactly sure what; I’ve never been a mother in the United States. Maybe it would mean a drive to find a coffee shop followed by a long line and huge drink that takes a long time to consume? (Fill me in if you know.)

So I explained how socializing works at school drop-off here in Como. It’s very normal for even working parents to grab a quick espresso or cappuccino at the bar after school drop-off. There’s inevitably at least one coffee bar, more likely several, within a few steps from the school. We spend 5-15 minutes socializing, enjoying good coffee, meeting other parents, and maybe chatting and bonding about something related to the class or school.

Most parents, particularly those with long commutes to Milan or Lugano might manage this once a week while keeping an eye on with their illegally parked car precariously perched on a sidewalk, double-parked, or in a spot that is simply not parking. Parents that take trains to work find it harder make the drop-off, but they usually have a work from home day each week when they could. If the parents don’t work, there will often be a morning a week where they sit and linger for even up to an hour with the other parents before tackling the rest of the day.

Italians inherently believe, want, and know that they have time for these small breaks for pleasure and connection. Do you?

I’m aware that this a microanalysis of a tiny moment, a short phrase, and for some might seem ridiculous. But the more I become integrated with the culture and society here as an immigrant in Italy, the more I see these mini-moments and subtleties make the shared undercurrent of philosophy in that culture. It’s not some big rule like “DOLCE VITA” but a thousand tiny behaviors.

What do you think? What would the barrista have responded where you live? Would you have even stopped for a coffee that morning? Dying to hear your thoughts on this too!

Becoming Italian: quick Q for you

I have 100+ (!) draft articles for Raising Bambino in all states of development - about Italian culture, food, life, language, family, immigration, and parenting in Italy. Many of them are about raising children in Italy, but many are more general, like this article today.

After a lot of thought, I’d really like to change the name of this Substack to “Becoming Italian” to encompass this more general Italian content as well. What do you think? Do you like the name change or prefer it stays the same and more focused? Let me know in the poll below. I’m here for you and want to get your input before I do anything. 😊

*Note: I’m using “American” to refer to people who live in the United States of America, not including Canada, Mexico, and South America. Apologies for using this adjective as concise shorthand. I don’t have experience with coffee culture in the rest of the Americas and would love to know more. Share! ☕

caffè and focaccia by the sea in Liguria